The Notebook: Lessons on Love

August 18, 2013 Lifestyle

The Notebook is undeniably an all time favourite of women and girls all around the world, whether it’s Ryan Gosling’s alluring character or the great love story of Noah and Allie, you’re likely to find this movie in collections everywhere.

Kiss scene in the rain in the notebook

I recall watching this movie back in 2007 or 2008 after my first boyfriend told me it was one of the best romantic dramas he’d ever seen. Yeah, umm I’m not sure why he had beat me to watching it first… maybe because I knew nothing about romance or anything related to it before I entered Year 12.  I don’t think my brain was developed enough back then to comprehend what the heck was going on in the movie. After stumbling across it whilst channel surfing through the boring Sunday night shows, I quickly hid the remote so my boyfriend wouldn’t be able to change the channel (haha :D), but he watched it willingly anyways because he’d never seen it… and I guess all the hype around something could make anyone curious, right?

I’m naturally an over-analyser, so when I watched this movie again last night, I couldn’t help but compare the thoughts that I had running through my mind back in senior high school with the ones I had last night while watching it the second time. Watching a movie a second or even a third time makes quite a big difference, especially with movies that provoke so much emotion like The Notebook. So I thought I’d map out the thoughts I have on it today so I can perhaps watch it again in another 4 years time to see if my perception of things have changed drastically!

“it’s normal not to forget your first love”

This quote is from the scene where Lon, Allie’s trophy husband-to-be, figures out that she had returned to Seabrook (the town where she met Noah) after seeing Noah’s picture in the newspaper with the old house he had rebuilt from the ground up in hopes of catching her attention.

I’ve mentioned in previous posts that moving on takes time, moreso if you’re moving on from your first love. I’d like to note that there is a great distinction between moving on and forgetting your first love. The latter implies that you gradually disregard the existence of the love you had and you slowly eradicate each and every one of the memories you made together. If you’re able to forget your first love and everything that you learned about him/her while you were still together, then maybe it wasn’t love. Maybe you thought it was love…. Maybe it was one-sided love.

You can’t just ‘forget’ your first love, and it’s a completely different thing to ‘moving on’.

Moving on means embracing the past and knowing that there’s nothing you can do to re-write history (until time machines are invented). Moving on is about not dwelling upon the same thing for too long and looking towards building a future with someone new. If you want to truly be happy with a new love, you will need to MOVE ON.

Martha Shaw: Look, a woman knows when a man looks into  her eyes and sees someone else.

Young Noah: Now you know that I want to give you all the things that you want, right? But I can’t, because they’re gone… they’re broken

Having your heartbroken by someone you once loved so immensely is a tragic story by and of itself. Yeah okay, it was a crappy break up… so what? You feel wronged… so go and prove the other person wrong that your life CAN and will be better without them.

I can relate to Noah’s words… At first I couldn’t bring myself to commit to my new relationship, fearing that I would get hurt. Both having been hurt in the past, we made it clear to each other that it is of utmost importance that we communicate (the no-bullshit policy).

People think that they can’t love the same way again after heartbreak, and in a way I agree that you won’t ever find someone exactly like the person lost but there’s no excuse to forget everything you learned while you were together.

Stop thinking about what everyone wants, stop thinking about what I want, what your parents want!

This applies to everything in life. Sometimes it’s okay to be a little selfish, especially if you’ve just been emotionally battered and bruised from a crappy relationship. It’s okay to try and uphold expectations, but it is most important that you make choices that you won’t regret in life.

Much love,

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