Quite often I lie in bed and find myself flicking through an iPhone app that allows me to dig through a bunch of photos people upload and the app turns those photos into standard iPhone wallpaper-sized images. The prettied up quotes are the ones that really tug on my heartstrings.
I like to think that I’m a pretty reflective person and when I’m in one of those thinking moods (which is often), I like to search for quotes that I can relate to. I guess people just like it when there’s some sort of evidence in the world that they’re not alone, especially when it comes to being in a sticky situation in life, or maybe even just delving into the reasons why they might be happy at that point in time.
The above image is just one of dozens of iPhone wallpapers I’ve downloaded in the past few months and the words, although not a quote by anyone snazzy or famous, spell out something I need to constantly remind myself.
SOME THINGS TAKE TIME
There are a lot of things I wished I could change right now but a lot of these things require a bit of thought and effort. Relationships are one of the things I wish I could set straight in my mind but there’s a constant battle in my mind where thoughts and ideas conflict each other so much to the point where I wished I existed as somebody else.
I know I can’t avoid these things, especially with relationships because I understand they’re an integral part of life. I’m just having trouble trying to brush aside the memories I have of my most recent ex-boyfriend because I feel like I’ll always have residual feelings for him, even after the crappiest break-up ever experienced in all 22 years of my life. I know this isn’t fair for anyone, especially the sub-sequential boyfriends I’ll have after him. It’s not fair to myself either as I find myself constantly trying to find reasons not to commit to a relationship which intuition pushes a high chance of working out.
Getting over someone takes time. But it’s not easy when you’ve been through so many things together, spent so much time thinking that they were your soulmate, planning our future together etc. I know I need to let go, but the problem is… I don’t know if I want to. I can’t explain it to people either because I’m scared they’ll judge me for holding onto something that was so detrimental to my life. I just don’t know anymore.
Getting fit takes time. This one definitely takes a lot of commitment and effort because I don’t live very close to the gym and I don’t have my own car to drive to the gym whenever I want. I have to resort to taking public transport, and the public transport in Sydney is horrendous. I need to learn how to cook and drag my chubby bum to the gym even on those cold and rainy days! I don’t think it’s that hard to get what you want, it’s a matter of how much you want it. I also want to start doing yoga after stumbling upon elle_fit‘s instagram, which are mostly photos of her yoga stuff. She’s pretty much a self-taught yogi, and I think that if I put my mind to it, I can find my way into yoga too! But first, to find a good quality yoga mat that won’t cost me an arm and a leg.
Getting through uni takes time. I find it so difficult to digest all the mumbo jumbo in my accounting textbooks sometimes that I just flip them shut and procrastinate. I just want to get through uni, move out of home so I can see what it’s really like to be an independent woman. I also want to travel all over the world, experience the different cultures of different places. But in order to pass my subjects, I’ll need to put in the time to thoroughly understand the content lecture-by-lecture.
Developing a new relationship takes time. This one ties in with trying to get over my ex-boyfriend. I hope it works out, but I am unsure about how it will work out. I still feel like I haven’t regained my ground yet after that crazy break up back in December last year. I haven’t been able to be happy about being by myself yet, and I feel like it’s going to take it’s toll on the new relationship.
I guess I won’t know the specifics until I start somewhere…