A recent study published on Time.com revealed that 23 and 69 are the happiest ages. Seeing as I’m still a few months shy of 23, I can’t vouch for that statement just yet. However, I can safely say that 2013, the 22nd year I’ve walked this earth, has been one of the best years as of yet.
Those who know me personally, would know that 2012 didn’t quite end on a good note. The break up between D and I wasn’t exactly amicable, some might even go as far as to deem the way it was executed as tactless and unanticipated – but that’s not the point. My point is, the termination of a 3-year relationship really put a dampener on the prospective year. Needless to say, this negativity had rolled over into the new year and for the first few months of 2013, I was one hot mess.
Seeing as I have the tendency to overthink and overanalyse, the tangled thoughts played on my emotions. And for a while I just felt like I was floating in the open sea waiting for salvation from my thoughts. I didn’t know what to do with my life anymore, having spent those years being a part of someone else’s. I couldn’t remember for the life of me, how I had lived before I had met him.
Luckily for me, I have friends that have stuck with me throughout the years. I also made some good friends at work, who kept me distracted me on a daily basis from revisiting the past. I have these people to thank for helping me regain my confidence as an individual. I also have the friends that have gone on exchange to thank for keeping me from doing stupid things that I would regret.
Having the obligation of working full-time over the Summer of 2012 – 2013 kept me from sitting in my room and moping over the lost love. It felt good to be working hard for money that I could spend on myself, and myself only.
I’ll end this entry here with some things that I have learnt regarding the recovery from a pretty messy break up.
I have learnt that it is wiser to take what people say with a grain of salt until they can prove to you that they are committed to their words. I say this, because he knew it was going to end way before he had the courage to bring it up with me. All I can remember were excuses upon excuses, and I should have seen the warning signs. Perhaps this is why I find it so hard to trust again.
I don’t mind staying friends with you, even after all the shit you put me through during the several months after our break up. I don’t even care anymore that you kept playing mind games with me, because I know that it was just you trying to ‘make amends’. All I can say now is that I loved you, and that’s now in the past. I’m happy with where I am now, with who I’m with and where we’re going, and I wish the same for you. Whether you cheated on me or not doesn’t matter anymore, because I’ve let you go – I’ve let us go. But having loved you for so long, I will always care about you and your parents, and Kuma too. I just want to thank you for everything that was, but won’t be anymore. Just know that in my books, you’ll always be a friend or something like that.
… So that concludes that part of my year. I’ll end this post with a question:
Is it possible to stay friends with an ex?