Cheaters don’t deserve second chances

October 8, 2014 Lifestyle
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I didn’t think cheating was a thing in real life, I always thought it generally only happened in the movies.

I never thought it would happen to me either, let alone getting cheated on twice in the three years that I was with my ex.

Well wasn’t that stupid and naive of me?

people don't cheat by chance, they cheat by choice

People don’t cheat by chance, they cheat by choice.

It’s never an accident because they’ve player it out in their mind before it happened.

Be careful if you stay with someone who has cheated on you without reason.

What you accept is all you’ll ever get.

– Tony A. Gaskins Jr.

Break ups are never easy, so a few months after we broke up (while my heart was on the road to recovery), getting told by a mutual friend of our’s that I was cheated on really put a spanner in the works.

I was shattered. I remember breaking down at the Korean restaurant we chose to meet up at after work one Friday, and then trekking down to Bondi Beach afterwards to bawl my eyes out with a bottle of my favourite bourbon.

I was left bereaved and confused at the facts. Why would a person spend 3 years of their lives building up a relationship just to tear it down in the end?

It took me a good few months to realise that his choice for cheating on me twice had nothing to do with me as a person. I mean, fair enough we had our differences at times but I know I had done nothing that warranted the cheating. It just took a bit of time for me to accept that it was happening right under my very nose.

Now? Now I just know that there are some world class liars out there who don’t deserve a second chance no matter how hard they try to convince you of their good deeds.

People don’t cheat by chance, they cheat by choice.

Cheating is premeditated. Always.

It doesn’t just happen. At some point in time, they would have discussed or thought about how to carry it through. There’s that need to think it through in order to avoid getting into trouble, and that’s what usually happens.

Be very careful if you stay with someone who has cheated on you without reason.

Personally, I think there is no validity in people trying to justify cheating. People who justify their cheating without reason simply are refusing to take responsibility for their actions.

If you’re looking for an open relationship, don’t ‘play house’ and be very clear with what you’re hoping to achieve in an open relationship.

If you’ve established an open relationship, again, make sure you set boundaries. Playing house is only going to make shit worse, especially for the person who actually starts investing their emotions into the relationship.

Cheating is cheating and that’s that.

What you accept is all you’ll ever get.

This line of the quote is the most important one. Never settle for less than what you really deserve.

Featured Image: Shutterstock, isaravut
Image: Shutterstock, Mark Carrel

Much love,

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  • Reply Hilda October 8, 2014 at 6:56 pm


  • Reply Jeff October 9, 2014 at 2:52 pm


    • Reply Leann October 11, 2014 at 10:54 am

      Hah. Nice one using your work email! haha <_<

  • Reply Katie Paul October 9, 2014 at 5:01 pm

    While I’ve never had the experience of being cheated on, I have been the person who cheated. While I do take full responsibility for my actions, and I know I did the wrong thing, I do feel as though my behaviour was due to my circumstances rather than a character flaw.

    The phrase ‘once a cheater, always a cheater’ makes me scared, sad and worried about my future. I hope it isn’t true. I can’t see myself ever cheating again — it was a lesson I learnt and next time I’ll leave a relationship before I am pushed into that situation again.

    Thank you for a thought provoking read.
    K x

    • Reply Leann October 11, 2014 at 11:18 am

      Hi Katie! We all make mistakes and as long as we acknowledge them as you have by taking full responsibility for your actions, the world would be a better place. Don’t be scared of the phrase ‘Once a cheater, always a cheater’ because the fact that you have accepted that cheating is an act of dishonesty already means you’re a better person now.

      All I wish is that people who cheat are honest and straightforward about it instead of fabricating lies upon lies to cover up their tracks. It’s pretty simple, acknowledge, don’t deny.

      Thanks for sharing your insight :) There’s nothing more that I love than comments that help me further understand different aspects of my views and ideals of this world.


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